Man and God, Sin and Regret
(nakalimutan lagyan ng title. hehehe)
The Altar faces
a broken reflection
Of unwanted Malencholy
Of Shadows of Death.
Shadows casts by the
Bleeding candles of
The sacred ruin where
Spirits dwell no more.
The Altar looks down
On the morbid crimes
Of the flesh commited
by no less than a man
consumed by his own weakness
and lost divinity.
The relflection stares back
At the apathetic Altar,
Stares back at the empty
Cross, mute and unmoving.
The bleeding candles glows
With a heaviness that weighs
upon the shoulder of the
suicidal image, the painting
Of broken colors of morbid
Malencholy and lost crimes.
Sitted and face to face,
The altar and the reflection,
The cross and the image,
stares at each other, apathetic
and unmoving from all the
mixtures of flesh and holy
martyrdom, of burning lust
and ecstatic sainthood.
Friction the crime of this
rhyming image, truth and demise
His only salvation.
(nakalimutan lagyan ng title. hehehe)
The Altar faces
a broken reflection
Of unwanted Malencholy
Of Shadows of Death.
Shadows casts by the
Bleeding candles of
The sacred ruin where
Spirits dwell no more.
The Altar looks down
On the morbid crimes
Of the flesh commited
by no less than a man
consumed by his own weakness
and lost divinity.
The relflection stares back
At the apathetic Altar,
Stares back at the empty
Cross, mute and unmoving.
The bleeding candles glows
With a heaviness that weighs
upon the shoulder of the
suicidal image, the painting
Of broken colors of morbid
Malencholy and lost crimes.
Sitted and face to face,
The altar and the reflection,
The cross and the image,
stares at each other, apathetic
and unmoving from all the
mixtures of flesh and holy
martyrdom, of burning lust
and ecstatic sainthood.
Friction the crime of this
rhyming image, truth and demise
His only salvation.
- Mood:
guilty

Comments
With a heaviness that weighs
upon the shoulder of the
suicidal image
<-- ganda. u sound like angela manalang-gloria.
mixtures of flesh and holy
martyrdom, of burning lust
and ecstatic sainthood.
<-- this are the most relevant and powerful lines, i guess.
i just feel uncomfy with "holy martyrdom". hehe. i dont know what word to replace, sacrfice or persecution or whatever, im not a poet.
u slipped the word melancholy twice.
unless u really intend to accentuate mAlEncholy.
ur doin a great job.
sugohaseyo!,
riyel.
see? my grammar also sucks sometimes.
these are.
riyel