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shity poem

chinese
Man and God, Sin and Regret
(nakalimutan lagyan ng title. hehehe)



The Altar faces

a broken reflection

Of unwanted Malencholy

Of Shadows of Death.

Shadows casts by the

Bleeding candles of

The sacred ruin where

Spirits dwell no more.

The Altar looks down

On the morbid crimes

Of the flesh commited

by no less than a man

consumed by his own weakness

and lost divinity.

The relflection stares back

At the apathetic Altar,

Stares back at the empty

Cross, mute and unmoving.

The bleeding candles glows

With a heaviness that weighs

upon the shoulder of the

suicidal image, the painting

Of broken colors of morbid

Malencholy and lost crimes.

Sitted and face to face,

The altar and the reflection,

The cross and the image,

stares at each other, apathetic

and unmoving from all the

mixtures of flesh and holy

martyrdom, of burning lust

and ecstatic sainthood.

Friction the crime of this

rhyming image, truth and demise

His only salvation.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
(Anonymous) wrote:
Oct. 28th, 2005 08:20 pm (UTC)
weeeeeh
bleeding candles glows
With a heaviness that weighs
upon the shoulder of the
suicidal image

<-- ganda. u sound like angela manalang-gloria.


mixtures of flesh and holy
martyrdom, of burning lust
and ecstatic sainthood.

<-- this are the most relevant and powerful lines, i guess.
i just feel uncomfy with "holy martyrdom". hehe. i dont know what word to replace, sacrfice or persecution or whatever, im not a poet.

u slipped the word melancholy twice.
unless u really intend to accentuate mAlEncholy.



ur doin a great job.
sugohaseyo!,

riyel.
(Anonymous) wrote:
Oct. 28th, 2005 08:21 pm (UTC)
Re: weeeeeh
this are

see? my grammar also sucks sometimes.

these are.

riyel
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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